
I finally got on a plane. It feels like I’ve taken my previous life of (more) frequent flights for granted, that access to another country was nothing more than a question of how much time I have to get away.
Somehow, in Toronto, I have fallen into a routine that has ordered my days and marched the year on without even realizing it. Maybe this is the holdover of the Industrial Revolution or the way we have marshaled and broken time into boundless units of meaning.
I am doing two modules this semester for my MEd at OISE (UofT). I have about 20 hours all told, of pickleball coaching, playing and administrative support for the club I work at, Toronto West Pickleball Club. I also do Thai massage once a week at Bahn Thai Spa, located downtown. And I volunteer for half a day weekly at Feed It Forward, a food rescue and grocery store in my neighbourhood. I am working on pyrography poems, developing a haiku series and standalone pieces. There’s the occasional photography gig and the occasional creative writing workshop. I wrote poetry on demand almost every week this past summer and fall at the market and have joined Poems in Passage as a typewriter poet-for-hire. And I am part of the ArtworksTO Newcomer Program for artists, a program for newcomer artists where I will receive training, mentorship and execute an arts education project.
No wonder the time has gone.
*
It is far more common to quote the opening lines of a book than its ending. I think there is something about that first act of creation of a story that is so enthralling and also so burdened with expectation. But it takes just as much work to draw the curtain close, to hold this entire world that has been built and to let it down gently and completely.
The ending of Emily St John Mandel’s new book Exit Party holds both particular and universal elements and struck me as being very apt for this moment in my life, where my relationship to time, things to be done and even to light is different.
The point isn’t that the candle won’t last the night. Everything is temporary. The point is that the light is gorgeous while it lasts.

This sentiment isn’t unique, especially not for photographers with their attuned sense of the golden hour and its fleeting nature. But, taken in the context of the novel, a twined interrogation of doubled lives across two parallel universes, the sentiment expands. Two bodies, exactly the same, are inhabited by two different consciousness, living out full lives that last as long as the light remains. Both the worlds in the novel are fractured and flawed in their own way, but what is common between them is the persistence of humanity, stubborn, individual sparks.
Some candles burn longer, some are snuffed out too early. But the point is the light and what the light does.
It illuminates, even temporarily.

For others, and for the self.












































































